The Chair

I often wonder as a Psychotherapist, do I spend enough time reflecting on the strength that it takes for my clients’ to sit in “the chair”.  I am most certainly not asking them to do an easy task.  It takes a huge amount of courage to choose to engage in therapy, knowing that it is not going to be an easy journey.  People literally bare their hearts and souls, when they choose to sit in “the chair”.

I may well be the only person that they have shared their innermost…deepest feelings with.  Often, people become tearful and then apologise.  Why do we as humans apologise for emotions that are universal?   Now that poses as an interesting question for reflection, and I am sure that there are many answers. 

The chair holds a lot of pain, suffering, joy and strength, amongst an array of various other emotions.  The relational depth that develops between myself and that person, or people if it is a group, cannot sometimes be conveyed in mere words.  Words often become a vessel for what is communicated in the room, but so does silence.  Silence can provide the space for feelings to be manifested and nurtured without judgement.  Silence also provides a jewel of space for reflection.

So coming back to “the chair” in question.  We often find it difficult to sit in “the chair” to begin with, and sometimes denial of our difficulties plays a part.  Sometimes being worried about being perceived as being weak plays a part.  Sometimes fear in general plays a part.  This often means I have to work extra hard to gain trust, and peel back the layers of the onion.  And work hard I should!  However the key is in a collaborative therapeutic relationship.  The “I” becomes “we”…”how can we work through these difficulties together”?  When making the decision to sit in the chair, awareness that empowerment is intrinsic, needs to be taken in to consideration.  I can’t “do therapy” to people or provide a “cure”.  A discussion about this most likely needs to take place before the real work starts.

Sitting in “the chair” often means that we feel worse before they feel better, and again the fear of this can inhibit the decision to sit in “the chair”.  This comes back to courage and strength.  I do hope that these words provide some insight of what it takes to sit in “the chair”.  I also hope that if we ever have hesitancy about sitting in “the chair”, that it provides us with some solace, comfort and hope.  Your journey is your journey and no one else’s…”the chair” helps us to see that we are human, and that as humans our feelings are valid.